Just because...

One of my favorite songs! Will always be!

#justdoit

"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do."

happyTURKEYday!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! If you're following me on twitter, you should know my thanksgiving situation. I'm stuck at school, working =( I thought i was going to be so lonely, sad, and depressed but I'm not. My daddy came to visit his baby girl!!! =) Although i celebrated my thanksgiving a day earlier, I am still VERY thankful. I'm thankful for my daddy. And I'm so glad that as i grow older i realize how much i appreciate him. Better late than never right!?? Around the holidays is usually an emotional time because in my eyes, HOLIDAYS = FAMILY. And i know i have family, but its just not how it used to be and i still haven't became comfortable with that, it still bothers me. And it's crazy because my daddy has NO CLUE how much it meant to me for him to come down to my school to cook Thanksgiving dinner for me, no clue at all. He saved my tears, lol. I can only imagine how it would be to have no family at all around the holidays. I have a soft spot with that kind of stuff and no one deserves to be alone. My life may not be all that i want it to be, but i have to remind myself it could be worse. I'm thankful for my ups and downs .......but even more thankful for my downs. YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN. sounds so cliche' but it's the truth. It's not easy to appreciate the hard times but we will easily appreciate the good times && that's sad. Everything is not going to always go the way we want them to, especially at the time we want it to happen and we have to learn how to accept that. And coming from ME, the person who's father spoiled her to DEATH and barely told me "NO" growing up...if i can accept it now, anyone in this world can lol. BE THANKFUL FOR EVERY MOMENT. BE THANKFUL FOR EVERY STRUGGLE BECAUSE IT DOES HAVE AN END. Don't take the easy way out because you may just miss your life long blessing that was coming along with the temporary struggle. Just be thankful, not only on this day but everyday and don't take life for granted!!! I love you all!!!

I love my faithful blog readers! lol Kisses to you!!

=) from karita cunningham on Vimeo.

A note to US ladies...

Okay, this just really bothers me and I apologize if it comes out the wrong way....

IT REALLY GETS TO ME when a guy does his girlfriend SO WRONG and the girlfriend knows about it..knows everything. She knows he cheated, he's disrespectful, called her all out of her name, he's a liar...he just can't be committed. And i know things are easier said than done but this is something we all should practice....DON'T SAY IT IF YOU AREN'T GONNA DO IT!! I'm tired of females talkn all this iish like she'S really about to leave dude alone and move on bcuz he "cheated" then 4 days later you back to "i love him and he loves me...going thru this is gonna make us stronger and i know where i stand i'm NUMBER 1 y'all other girls dnt mean anything to him, he loves me and just wanted to f**k y'all" blah blah..u know, something along those words. lol Sorry hunnie but you sound just as DUMB as he is. Or AT LEAST if you're gonna have these deceived thoughts, you dnt have to broadcast it all over to everyone, keep em to yourself so you won't sound like a fool lol but First of all, you shouldn't even consider yourself as "number 1"...you should be his Only One! He does NOT love you if he treats you like crap or if he cheats on you. Well, maybe with YOUR definition of love...but if you think that's love then you're in for a rude awakening. All I have to say is God is Love; Love is God. And God will NEVER treat you like he does....

I know soo many people who goes thru this and it REALLY gets me upset. ALL of us females have are dumb moments, INCLUDING ME. I've had a lot of them actually lol but I'm trying to get better at it and not go for this bull that most guys give us....You can do it LADIES =) know your WORTH!!!!!! All the pain we go thru with "letting him go" is only temporary....we will be okay =)

Just a little something....

For a class assignment, I re-made Christina Milian's So Amazin' album cover...here's a picture of the original album cover and the one I made. I'm more of a "girly colorful lover" type person so you should be able to tell which one I made lol. There are a few things I wish I would've did differently, but it's cool. This is my 1st time making a CD cover, I plan to make more as my knowledge of photo shop and designing grows...hope ya like!!

I had a dream...

Out of all the dreams I've had about my mother the one I had last night really made me sad! I need a professional dream analyzer because I would like to know what this dream meant or if she was trying to tell me something. I don't know if I believe in people speaking to you thru your dreams but I do know that all dreams do have a meaning. I remember it so clear....

I was walking thru my house with a friend, which so happened to be Lauren London (i LOVE her, lol) and I was walking into my parents room because that was the way to the basement. (according to my dream) as I was walking down the stairs to get to the basement, I heard a voice, it said something on the lines of "Hey, where are you going?"...I stopped and turned around and so did Lauren, then she said "It's some lady in the bed"...I remembered the voice and ran to the bed and saw my Mother's face. And I knew it was her right away. She was bald and kind of small with patches over her breasts (how she looked while she was sick). I ran up to her as she sat up and hugged her soooo tight and started crying and yelling, "Mommy!! Don't ever leave me again please!!" And I just remember both of us crying and hugging each other..........then I woke up.

I wish I could've saw my face when I woke up because I was so confused. But I think I was more sad if anything because I REALLY wish that could happen =( I miss that woman soo much, it sucks!! =( But tears are coming.....so I'm done.

Watch what You say...

Lately I've just been having this urge to share some words! It's like, the more i learn, the more i wanna tell because it may help someone else out.

Ladies: be careful of everything you tell a man. Ease up on telling him everything you want or once desired. He will only backfire it on you when the time is right. Ever been in an argument with your boyfriend and all he could say was "but you said you wanted this, I did everything you wanted me to such as ________ i gave you everything. I remember you told me you never had _____ so i gave it to you. No one ever did _____ for you so i did it" etc. THOSE are the words that can kill lol. Men know what they are doing and what they are saying. A lot of men use what you said you want against you. Some men will do just that, what you want to keep you around. But a relationship is more than that. Yeah, it may be what you want, but that's not enough all the time. Just because a man does what you want doesn't mean he's not supposed to do that little extra, because that extra does matter. He's not supposed to do what you want him to do just so he can get what he wants. Even I've heard it a few times "You said you never had this, so I gave it to you" And i dnt mean all physical things, I mean things that women want emotionally. And just those small words will keep a woman thinking like "Ohhh yeah he's right, he does everything i want him to do, blah blah" Of course he's going to do it because if you NEVER had it that's all he has to do to keep you around, he just has to say a few words no one else has said to you, and most of the time he doesn't even mean it. SMH. This is soo sad because ALL of us women have went thru this but you won't realize it at first. Just be careful of what you tell a man you dnt have to tell him everything you want because he's going to do it for you, or get it for you, or take you there just because he knows that'll keep you. But when your stuck thinking like "something's missing, I want more out of this" most of the time he's stuck too and dnt know what to do to help keep the relationship strong because he only knows what to do to keep you.....if that makes sense =)

That's advice to all relationships, it could go for friendships too. But of course, unless you're someone who just WANTS things out of someone then this won't apply to you because you're using them anyway lol so you're getting all that you want. I'M NOT SAYING that in a relationship ur boyfriend isn't supposed to give you want you want, BUT when it just all depends on what you want and he doesn't give much of anything else, thats when its a problem.... and I'm NOT saying this doesn't work both ways...definitely not saying that, but I'm just speaking for the ladies right now.

There's more to Me...

I'm going to keep this post 100% real! While these thoughts have been going thru my mind for some time now, it's about time I wrote them down and I'm able to share it with everyone who may be interested. Last nite when I got the urge to blog, I wasn't at home or by a computer. So I took notes in my wonderful Blackberry =) and I'm going to go off of that. Enjoy =)

My New self: I've learned that you REALLY can't change who you are for the better if God isn't involved. No matter how much someone says "I've changed" your change may only be temporary if you didn't accept God into your life. And that's just something I've learned over time by attending and listening at Church. So on this note, I'm in the process of changing for the better and I want my change to last forever.

Living Right: It took me a while to understand this at first, and I STILL dnt fully know everything, but I'm learning. I'm not gonna lie, living RIGHT as a teenager/young adult is extremely hard. Especially when you get to the point where it's something you used to do all the time and now you KNOW it's wrong so you need to stop. That's that part that gets to you, when its time to make that choice. In a lot of situations now, I find myself asking myself "Is this right? will God be upset with me?" I know that sounds like i'm 6yrs old, but sometimes you have to ask yourself! It's still things i DO do wrong because as of now i DON'T know everything! NO ONE IS PERFECT! It really opened my eyes and warmed my heart when I got to know some of the women and men at my church. To just know where they are now/where they're going and where they were before, made me realize no one is perfect and til this day it's still a growing process even to those who gave his or her life to Christ years ago. You never stop learning and growing. At first I felt like i had to do EVERYTHING right the moment I decided to go up in front of that church lol it was like I was trying to change MYSELF when now I know only GOD can do that. He miraculously works on people's lives even when you don't expect it...it's so Amazing!!

Take present Relationships w/ me? Or Leave em?: OMG! this is the question that still runs thru my mind. And to be completely honest, well for me, it's sooo much easier to still deal with female friends if they're not trying to get their life together than deal with male friends. Or even deeper than that, a male you're in a relationship with. Now let me tell you how I feel, I disagree with cutting people off or letting loose of relationships just bcuz I'M getting MY life together. It's like, I want to help them too. If they see my life changing or just see me a better person than it may help them. I still want to be with the same ppl and still get my life together. That's how i feel. But i also know that "sometimes you may have to back away from a certain relationship for a season." Meaning sometimes God will drift you away from a person because of His own will but that doesn't mean they're gone out of your life forever.

RELATIONSHIPS is the hardest for me. Like it's soooo hard lol. For any young adult trying to change it's going to be hard. Especially if you're in a relationship and YOU'RE the one who is learning the word of God, being around people who Love you, helping you, and you start being able to tell like "Wow, if he/she and I isn't on the same page, this is really gonna be messed up!" I learned that it's IMPOSSIBLE to mix Lightness w/ Darkness....Darkness will ALWAYS take over you! It's sad but true. If you're in the light trying to be in a relationship with someone who isn't...they'll win. That's just how it is. Because they won't understand Love and what a REAL relationship is thru God bcuz they're living for themselves or should I say they're just dnt have the knowledge. Which is when my question comes in. If I'm learning and trying to do right, if the guy REALLY likes me or has been being consistant, dont' you think after awhile he'll get his life together by learning from me? The way a person acts, affects the next person. A lot of people get drawn into God because of a friend or family member or simply just because of God. But I know with me, I dnt think I'll be where I am now if Anika or Brea wasn't in my life. My mother started me off but when she left, somebody had to pick me up. Being around Anika and Brea just guided me in a new direction. And i HOPE to do the same for MANY other people.......Especially YOU =) #subtweet (lol)

I just dnt want ANYONE to hold me back in this process. But it's not gonna be easy and it's gonna be soo many obstacles and test but I guess I just need to figure out does this test need to be handled in a positive or negative way? Do i need to let this person go or not? And over time it'll all come to light and help me realize what's right. I'm going to leave it at this, now that you know what I'm on with my life, I don't want to leave you behind. I'm still here for you and always will be. I refuse to diss any of my long life friends or friends i just met. But just understand what I'm going thru and I hope I bring you along instead of leaving you behind =)

This is AMAZING!

I just came across something I wrote and it's dated March 9th, 2006. Exactly 1 month and a week after my Mother passed away. I'm pretty sure what I wrote was inspired by my Mother's death, but not in a good way! As I look back and see how hurt I REALLY was and everything that was going through my mind, I'm SO happy that I overcame it all...it took time but I can honestly say I'm not in that place anymore. Of course I may have my moods every once in a while, but I don't think it'll EVER be as badd as it once was, I am so proud of myself =) READ THIS....


[my exact wording]
"Deep down inside..... 3.9.06"

Deep down inside, there's a girl who feels rejected, depressed, betrayed and under stress
Deep down inside, she feels clueless, confused, stupid, and unhappiness
Deep down inside, she feels phoniness from friends, backstabbers and all of the above
Deep down inside, she feels hurt and sad so she goes and looks for love
Deep down inside, she knows what's right and always follows her heart.
Deep down inside, she wishes that her and her loved ones will never be apart
Deep down inside, she wants to fit in, make new friends, but at the same time she don't
Deep down inside, she know who's there and has her back and the one's who won't
Deep down inside, she's trying to find the "real" from the "fake"
Deep down inside, she is listening to all the good and bad advice, but don't know which one to take
Deep down inside, she know's what you're thinking and how you feel so don't try to hide
This is ME and how i feel....Deep down inside!


AFTER READING THIS 4 YEARS LATER...I am amazed!Not only by how good of a writer I am =) lol BUT that i ACTUALLY felt this way!! It made me think like "Daannggg, I was really going thru it" but after i think about it, it was not THAT bad!! It couldn't have been that bad, I overcame it and i THANK my friends, family, && God! Back then i was sooooo lost and felt like i lost my ONLY guidance in life (my Mommy) but as i grew up, i realized i didn't =) Wow. is all i can say! And I'm not even ashamed to share this with the world because I KNOW it's girls who feel like this, younger than me, my same age, older than me, it's some people out there who feel the same way. And i just want you to know......IT'S OKAY =) I promise it is! I feel for you and i'll pray for everyone who may be going thru this. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!! <3

R.I.P Michael Jackson

For all of the Michael Jackson fans and Michael Jackson himself just thought I write a post in respect to him and all of his GREAT work! He seemed to affect aaallloottt of people, a lot of people grew up listening to Mike, and he inspires so many. Today marks a year of his death, just remembering him on this day. All of you Michael Jackson/Jackson 5 fans.....SMILEEE he loved you =)

Realizing who I am...

It's amazing how long it can take for someone to finally "find themself"...I'm ready to give up my search and be who I want to be without worrying what you, You, or YOU have to say about it! I realized, I am KaRita. A lite-skinned, pretty girl who laughs at almost anything, bigg foreheaded, slightly goofy, gets irritated quickly, always wanting new people in her life, girly girl, has rhythm, but still can't dance, country talkin', God fearing, spoiled but not so much a brat, open minded, creative individual. I stare A LOT, I can barely sit still, I'm somewhat secretitive, I'm smart but I hate school, I wish i was about 2 inches taller, I'm not perfect, I'm still shy and I have bigg dreams =) I'm no model [never had a passion for it] but i LOVE models [if that makes sense] I secretly want to be a singer [although I can't sing if my life depended on my vocals] and I want to play in a horror film one day *laughing but serious*...I'm a city type girl who wants to get out of Chicago, I belong in a fast city, but not the hood lol.I love the color Pink, I still have a Tweety Bird room #dontjudgeme, I can draw, and I use writing to express myself. JUST TO NAME A FEW BECAUSE......

I mean, I can go on and on about myself. My point is, THIS IS ME, what you read above is my baggage and I bring it with me wherever I go...I've accepted who I am and what you see is obviously what you get. I can't change my past and I can't be who I'm not. I had to learn to love my flaws and my own dislikes of myself. I'm still in the process of learning what's my purpose in life and I'm still growing/maturing into a wonderful young woman!


BOOP!!! lol

omg....it's a diamond in her face!!!!! lol

I wonder....

You know what.
I wonder.
Why...
Why do I miss her soo much?
Idk if I miss what I remember?
Or do I miss what it could have been?

Okay....wait....let's make things clear.
I'm talking about my MOTHER people lol

Idk if I miss what I remember?.....
Sometimes it's hard to remember her.
I try so hard to remember her voice, to remember how she say's my name, to remember how she smells.
But it's hard sometimes.
I miss having a Mommy.
Rather I remember everything about her or not.
I used to be jealous of my friend's or strangers who still has their Mother in their life.
But now, I learned to just admire.
Seeing a mother with her daughter gives me a warm feelings inside.
Makes me smile.
Even though i wish it could be me.
I'm just happy that daughter still has her Mother.
Losing a parent causes the worst pain ever that I don't like anyone experiencing.
A pain that never ends, only heals a little every day.
But never goes away.

Or do I miss what it could have been?....
I am 20 years old.
It's been 4 years without my Mommy.
Wow...4 years...a lot could have happened, a lot would have happened.
I wonder, if Mommy was still here, what kind of relationship would we have?
How would my life be?
Where would we be?
I just wonder and think soooo much.
How would the choices I've made been different?
What advice would I have gotten from her that I'll never hear now?
I just wonder.
When I think about her and when i say i miss her..
I think I miss more of what it would feel like to have a Mother today.

But...
Even without a Mother, I've learned so much.
Through my Daddy, through my Aunties, Grandma's, Cousins, Friend's.
Through God.
I have to say, God gives the best advice.
What I hear in church, i take to the heart.
Everything that is said, relates to life, relates to every situation.
God answers all of my questions.

I'm so glad my mother was a religious lady.
I'm so glad that every Sunday she woke me up and asked "Are you coming to church with me?"
I'm so glad I said "Yes!"

I'm so thankful that because of her, I believe, I go to church.
I'm so thankful that ever since I was young, she wanted me to know God.

So that when she left me....I wouldn't be alone.

Look at how far she has come...Dondria - You're the One!

I admire Dondria, her dedication, and her humble spirit so much! Although I am not an artist or no where near it, she is awesome! Her new HIT single "You're the One" is HOTT on every radio station and she has gained a huge fan base! It's amazing how someone could start from singing other artists' songs on Youtube to having a major record deal with SoSo Def and having HER own fans sing HER songs on Youtube! Dondria's voice is breath taking and I believe she'll make it far! You gotta love her! =)